Most Outrageous Stories (c-Stories) (TM):  Stories in a Category of their Own

There was five of us that were building a corporate team. The process included interviewing hundreds of people so we got pretty close and trusted each other. There were two young guys (I will call them, Justin and Dave) in there late twenties, a conservsative family guy with three kids (Bob), an attractive woman in her mid to late twenties (I will call her Tiffany)and me a "Plain Jane". I can still "Bob" telling the story to me (I am more on the conservative side myself). "Yep, I walked into the office and Justin & Dave were very focused while looking at a file with what looked like pictures. They both agreed that they liked a certain picture and Tiffany thanked them for their honest opinions'". "Than Tiffany asked me to be very honest and to pick which picture I liked the best?" I began looking through with what proved to be a modeling portfolio. Justin & Dave were watching my every expression & reaction. The last picture, well, (Bob took a long pause) Tiffany was as naked as a Jaybird." Justin and Dave chose the nude, Bob chose a picture where Tiffany was fully dressed. She never asked me my opinion. Unbelievable! I am not sure if she evr made it in modeling!

 Rate It |Post Comment | 1 Comments | Story Date:2008-07-28 | Share Story

I dearly love sales and especially pharma sales. To me, each call is an adventure. Every customer is unique. My mouth waters as I drive into the doctor’s parking lot. I see nothing, hear nothing, except the vision in my mind of what the next sales call will be like. I get a great big…ahhh…smile on my face just thinking about it! But often my mouth waters because I’ve worked right through breakfast, lunch, and dinner, running only on coffee. Such was the case one evening as I left Monroe Louisiana headed home to New Orleans. I’d been on a roll all day and made twice the number of good sales calls as usual, but I was now weak with a headache and shivering with hunger because I hadn’t eaten in over twenty four hours. Luckily I saw this little country market/deli and slid my sales vehicle sideways into the parking lot. As I walked in I was hit with the aroma of spicy Cajun rotisserie chickens warming in pans right in front of my eyes. I almost fainted with need. I was so frantic to eat, that I grabbed the biggest chicken, pan and all, threw a $20 bill on the counter, and jumped in my sales vehicle. Here I am headed south on a four lane highway, steering the car with my knees, and eating this enormous rotisserie chicken like I’d eat an apple. I mean I was slinging scrapes all over the dashboard and windows in my lust! As people in other cars would pass me, they’d do double takes, staring with bug-eyes and open mouths at the sight of a 200lb man in suit and tie, holding a 5lb chicken in front of his face with both hands, and tearing it apart like a shark. I’d gnash my teeth and snarl like a lion at these gapers and they’d instantly yank their gazes forward. I was in la-la land until about half-way through my feast, the car drifted off the road and hit the curb hard. The impact caused me to drop the chicken and pan right in my lap in order to grab the steering wheel and avoid a headlong flight into the swamp. That chicken must have been cooking all day because a entire quart of warm greasy chicken gravy dumped into my lap. I could actually feel the liquid pour through my suit and wash down my……well…..you get the idea. So now I’m looking at a three hour night drive home while sitting in this stinking slippery puddle. I was so mad that I yanked the window down and spiked that bird as hard as I could onto the highway. My last view of that meal was the explosion of chicken parts as it hit the pavement at seventy mph. And this was one of my easier trips! Stay tuned for more. “The Mighty Sultan” – former GSK rep.

 Rate It |Post Comment | 2 Comments | Story Date:2008-08-01 | Share Story

For my first year of full-time teaching I taught kindergarten in a very small private school. The students were allowed to use the restroom by themselves 2 classrooms away down the hall. One little boy went to use it after gym class. A while later while the class and I were reading on the carpet, the boy came back, walked right in and cried, "I pee-pee'd myself!" That I could deal with, but the real problem was that he was totally naked! He left all his clothes in the bathroom and walked down the hall that way. I felt so sorry for him..and the class was in an uproar. Then at the end of the day,I had to speak to each parent individually and explain how their child saw a naked student..they were all understanding. I chose to teach the upper grades after that. God Bless the kindergarten teachers!

 Rate It |Post Comment | 1 Comments | Story Date:2008-08-03 | Share Story

I am a specialist in organizational development. There were two women that got high acclaim for their teamwork in manufacturing. The publicity got to their heads. Little by little they became more controlling and micro managing. Resignations & complaints were through the roof. My boss placed me in the role to coach them & enhance the environment. They were dominant & I communicated with finesse a complete dichotomy. The last thing my director said to me was; “,It will be either you or them left standing.” I was patient; I made my decision to move them both out when one day I went to lunch and got a call fifteen minutes after I left. All I heard on my cell phone was; “Get you’re a.. back to the plant. You never leave this facility without getting permission from me!” I moved them out of their role the next day.

 Rate It |Post Comment | 0 Comments | Story Date:2008-08-11 | Share Story

I once had an intimate affair with a close friend. But, he was married with five kids. We had a great time and I loved him despite the fact that he’s already wedded. One night, while partying with my girlfriends, I saw this so-close friend of mine with other guys. I didn’t approach him, I just stayed with my group but I kept an eye on him. All of a sudden, I saw him kissing another guy. I felt like I’m gonna puke after seeing that. A few minutes later, they left holding each other’s hands and rode in a cab. I can only imagine where they went. I cried a night for him. That is even too much for lousy sexual acts. Oh well, I already knew why…

 Rate It |Post Comment | 0 Comments | Story Date:2008-08-12 | Share Story

My wife and I worked in different advertising agencies. She has a colleague which is not physically hot but is very witty. If I was not married, I would certainly fall for her. She is nice to me. Sometimes, I feel that she is extra nicer to me. She sends me email every day and we text each other almost every day too. I feel guilty to my wife. Even though we are not doing any mistakes, my mind tells me that I am wrong. I am actually liking her secretly. She can make me smile. When she is sad, I also feel unhappy. There are times that I wanted to end my communications with her. But, I just can’t.

 Rate It |Post Comment | 3 Comments | Story Date:2008-09-09 | Share Story

I once worked at an office in a middle management position. My immediate supervisor and I had a great social rapport (we shared several common interests and had many enjoyable conversations) but were at odds with each other on the job, especially when it came to staffing issues. He had made many demeaning comments about my staff\'s importance within the structure of the corporation, all within their hearing, so he was certainly not held in high esteem at the office. Needless to say, this also made my job extremely difficult, and many a night I came home from work bemaoning this guy\'s lack of people skills and the problems it caused me. One afternoon, after business hours, I brought my dog up to the office so everyone could meet him. Corky was a wire fox terrier, a fisky little fellow who endeared himself to everyone he met. He captivated my staff with his winning ways, and seemed especially taken with my supervisor, a fact I found surprising, considering Corky was usually a pretty good judge of character. As my supervisor was busy bragging to the staff about how much animals like him, Corky jumped up and his rock hard little head made contact with a very vulnerable part of my super\'s anatomy. My super\'s voice cracked mid-sentence, tears came to his eyes, and he was valiantly trying to remain upright. The staff began twittering; I, too, was trying desperately not to laugh; while Corky sat down at my feet, tail wagging, looking at me as if to say \"Aren\'t I a GOOD BOY?\" The next day the staff presented me with a big rawhide bone to give to Corky, in thanks for his doing to the super \"what they could only dream of doing\"

 Rate It |Post Comment | 1 Comments | Story Date:2008-09-11 | Share Story

Surprise! Surprise! I am the king of putting both feet in my mouth and learned a good lesson one day. I was a top rep for one of the three largest pharma companies in the US. I had come to home office to do a three month special project which included leading our division’s Sales Training Classes. The classes went great and we took the graduating reps to a celebration dinner at an upscale local restaurant. We had an entire room to ourselves. There were also a few guests who I thought were from Sales Training that I didn’t know. I noticed one gentleman sitting at a table all by himself. No one was talking to him and I felt kind of sorry for him. Thinking he was one of our new reps, I went over, sat down, and we started talking. We traded sales stories for over an hour. He had a lot of good ones. Now when I was a rep, I worked hard but also did a lot of wild blowing-off-steam such as: using an elevated railroad crossing as a progessive jumping ramp for my sales vehicle once a week (my last jump carried me so far that I almost went thru the side of a warehouse), driving with only my knees on the steering wheel for 100 miles, eating cans of beef stew that I’d warmed on the car engine while making sales calls, trying Ozium air freshener as a desperation breath-spray (that cost me my voice for the rest of the day), making a sales call in full fly-fishing outfit, waders, rod, vest, creel, etc…..plus the other SMB stories you see on this website. These were all included in our conversation that night. Luckily, I’d caveated all these stories with emphasis on good sales skills used in the field that had earned me multiple national awards and what I was doing to help all our reps. A week later, I received a copy of our company newsletter. Who should be on the cover? It was the Vice-Chairman of the ENTIRE company and the same person I’d foolishly traded sales stories with. I had to tell my wife what an idiot I’d been because we were about to leave on another national sales award trip I’d won. On each of these trips, there’s a VIP Day where the high command of the company comes to congratulate everyone. On that day I tried to make my wife and I scarce by hanging around the back parking lot of the resort all day. Well here comes this tour bus into the parking lot and before we could run, it stops right in front of us, the door opens, and the first person to step out is this same Vice-Chairman. His face immediately lit up with a great big smile. I turned to my wife and said “Career over!!” Even years later, when I’d pass this guy in the hall, he’d get a big grin and say “Hello Steve” and walk away chuckling. I’m glad he got some pleasure out of my stupidity. Now I always ask more about new people I meet…but I still manage to put both feet in my cake-hole. Stay tuned for more. “The Mighty Sultan” – former pharma rep.

 Rate It |Post Comment | 2 Comments | Story Date:2008-09-11 | Share Story

I remember about 10 years ago employing a temporary agency for some extra help getting a mailing out from our office. I told the staffing agency that the person didn't have to come dressed in business professional attire, that business casual was fine as it wasn't a front desk position. I should've been more specific, but had no idea how specific I needed to be!! The next morning a young lady came in - I thought she might be an ex-employee stopping by to look for an old paycheck or something. But, no. She was my temporary person, there to help me with my mailing. I'm not saying she wasn't perfectly capable of handling the job, but if first impressions mean anything, I didn't have much hope for success. She came dressed in jammie pants, house slippers, a t-shirt and still had blue foam rollers in her hair. She had her walk-man ready to entertain her while stuffing envelopes. I was wondering if I should offer her a blanket and pillow to make her more comfy!! Needless to say, I contacted the temp agency and she was replaced that morning. Ever since then, I've actually made an effort to list out proper attire when engaging a temp agency, and I tell this story often to illustrate my point. Beware of what you are vague about - it'll come back and bite you!! :)

 Rate It |Post Comment | 1 Comments | Story Date:2008-11-13 | Share Story

I was a young cocky employee at a promotional advertising firm. My manager called me in to his office to reprimand me for my brash communication style with an co-worker. My flip comment to him was, "Squeaky wheel gets the grease." He calmly folded his hands, leaned back in his seat, and softly yet with command said, "And sometimes squeaky wheel gets changed." I learned my lesson.

 Rate It |Post Comment | 1 Comments | Story Date:2008-11-13 | Share Story